Being a Pastor’s wife can be both the most difficult and the most rewarding positions in which a woman can find herself. It is rewarding because she has the opportunity to be intimately involved in people’s lives and see hearts radically changed. It is difficult because people can and do make mistakes, and not Pastor can please every person in his congregation. It is not easy for a wife to sit by while her husband is criticized by different people every week.
Although being a Pastor’s wife will never be without some difficulty, there are things you can do to make it a little bit easier:
1. Consider carefully before you get married. If you know you are marrying someone who is going to be a Pastor, make sure you know what you are getting into. Do you support his calling? Do you love people? Are you willing to stand by him and encourage him when things get really difficult? Consider these questions carefully before agreeing to a lifetime together.
2. Pray. Pray for your husband and his ministry constantly. Pray for your marriage, pray for your family, and pray for the people your husband is trying to reach.
3. Fight for your marriage and family. It is often easy for a Pastor to become overwhelmed with the needs of the people he is serving, even to the detriment of his own family .You need to be willing to take a stand and make sure that your marriage and family are not pushed aside.
4. Have a sense of humor. Things are going to go wrong. People are going to get angry and lash out, sometimes over ridiculous things. If you keep your sense of humor and are willing to laugh at the absurd, it will all be that much easier.
5. Focus on the positive. Although it may seem like you are constantly dealing with the negative side of people, look for the positive things that you see. Focus on the growth that you see, the people who are encouraged, and the good things that are going on. You will be surprised to find that just one positive story, one changed life, can be so encouraging and uplifting that it makes it possible to bear everything else.
6. Don’t try to do it alone. Realize that we were not created to try and live life on our own, so don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. So many times women think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but often times the strongest thing that you can do is admit that you can’t do it alone.
Accept that you aren’t perfect, and remember who you live for. Don’t ever forget that you will never be able to please everyone. Remember that you answer to God and not to men. If you make sure that you are living in a way that is in keeping with what God has called you to, then that is all you can do. Keep your eyes on Jesus, and don’t worry about those that are trying to distract you. Serve God, love your husband, and love your children. Everything else will take care of itself.
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